Jerzey Girl - My Life.. or something like it

Blast from the past

2006-07-07T14:29:00.000-04:00

Or so I seem to think anyway. I graduated AIT on the 5th and am now inprocessing into my first duty station. I never wanted to come back to this place, but I find myself sitting here in the barracks anyway.. SO much has happened to me in the past few months. I just dont know where to start. For one, I am now a Single parent. I signed my divorce papers on June 6, 2006. (6/6/06... kinda freaky huh?) I am starting a new life for me and my babies and I can not wait to get out on my own again. I havent seen my kids since january when i was home for christmas exodus... Well thats a lie.. i saw them for about 6hrs last week. They came to my graduation and i got to spend a little time with them. I met a really great guy, who I have totally fallen for. He is everything that ex was not and he treats me like a princess, altho, i still claim to not be one of those. gosh, So much has happened and all i can write are these few sentences.. What the hell happened to my blogging ability??? musta lost that information when i crammed in 16 weeks of medical stuff... *sigh* maybe in time it will come back, til then, it will be short entries.. I am sure ill have plenty to write about when i get deployed.... yes, i am sure it will happen.. soon :(

lifes strange

2006-04-06T20:30:00.000-04:00

yeah, its been a long friggen time since i updated.. i havent had a chance... but i am gettin there. I am finally in AIT. doin pretty good. having fun, for the most part. husband and i are not any better.. in fact, he is being an ass.. but hey, thats normal for now. eventually things will get better. but only once things get finished between us.. yes, he can kiss my ass..

a real update

2006-01-01T03:39:00.000-05:00

Sorry, i had to get the last part out there before it went wayside.

I got in to NJ the 20th. No, i havent updated, but there is good reason. I got the mother fucking flu on christmas day!!! Today is my first day out of bed. So there, there is your huge freaking reason for not updating. Still love me?? ha! noone even reads me anymore, so its not like anyone cares.

Anyway, basic.. i can honestly tell you, its nothing like i expected it to be. I thought i was going to die when i got there, as you can tell, i am still alive. I also never thought I would find myself begging to go to the gas chamber.. ever... turns out when youre so full of snot you blow (literally) though a box of tissues in a few hours, you remember that nice stream of snot and just how good you could breath afterwards.. and you start longing for it.. twisted huh? Yes, i think in the short amount of time i have been in basic training it has corrupted me. I am finding it easier to speak my mind, when i am actually thinking it (which i dont do there, because my ass isnt made of rubber, and personally, i dont like it being chewed on) I have become very cynical in the past several days (since i came home actually) I dont have a lot of faith in much anymore, and I have decided I am truely doing this whole "army thing" for me. Noone else.

I had plans of coming home, being a good little soldier and keeping up my routine.. fucking flu came on and all those plans went out the god damn window. Guess i am gonna be working 3 times as hard when i go back (in a couple days) just to end up where I was when I left.

In case youre wondering.. things are still shitty with husband, took a turn for the worst. like I said, I am in this for Me now.. NOONE else.

If n e one still reads this, drop me a line..

Quicky update..

2006-01-01T03:35:00.000-05:00

Dont really have this long thought out post. I just want to say. I am here, Loving basic, cant wait to get back, had an epiffany tonight (happy new year by the way) I think I finally "get" it.

I was listening to this song tonight (ok am listening to it right now)

Away from the Sun - 3 Doors Down

Its down to this
Ive got to make this world make sense
Can anyone tell what I've done
I miss the life
I miss the colors of the world
Can anyone tell where I am

Cause now again, I've found myself
So far down, Away from the sun
that shines into the darkest place
Im so far down, away from the sun again

Im over this
Im tired of livin in the dark
can anyone see me down here
the feelings gone, theres nothing left to lift me up
back into the world ive known.

cuz now again, ive found myself
so far down, away from the sun
that shines into the darkest place
im so far down, away from the sun
that shines to light the way for me
to find my way back into the arms
that care about the ones like me
Im so far down, away from the sun again,

Its down to this
Ive got to make this life make sense
and now i cant tell what ive done

And now again, ive found myself
so far down, away from the sun
that shines to light the way for me

cause now again ive found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again

i am sorry, it just makes sense.. it all clicked.. but i may have been too late. Its 330 in the am & I fucked up. I fucked up bad.. but hey, at least i "get it" now right?

Monday...

2005-11-17T15:30:00.000-05:00

I leave on monday.. I have so many different emotions going on right now. I am scared, nervous, and sad. I have never done anything like this before & honestly, right now, i am so afraid of screwing up and not being able to do it. (physically, mentally, hell yeah, i got that in the bag) I am afraid my children will grow up and hate me because of this. I am going to miss them so much. I am more sad to be leaving them, than i am to be leaving my husband. I know they will be ok in his care, but i still worry. I have to keep telling myself, It is time I do something for ME, before I am too old and that I am actually doing this to help give them a better life then they are getting right now.

Last night I had to go do some army stuff, got the crap smoked out of me.. omg, i have never had such a sore neck before and legs (damn flutter kicks) I felt so good after it tho, so i guess it was worth it. I know all of this is worth it.

I am facing a lot of opposition from family. My mother in laws main concern is that she cannot believe i would leave my children. My brother thinks i am being stupid.

change of subject.. i took about 20 minutes away from writing this. My youngest son just came in the room and i asked him if he was gonna miss me.. that opened up a whole big can of worms. I knew it would be hard to say goodbye to them on monday, but i didnt realize it would start before i left. he was in tears, absolutely heartbreaking moment for me. I love my babies more than anything, and it just breaks my heart to have to leave them. Right now, i am asking myself again, is this worth it??

check in- - -

2005-11-11T18:57:00.000-05:00

Ok.. i know i said i was on a hiatus.. But. I have something to update with. I dunno how things will turn out with hubby of mine, but here's whats going on with me.

I know you have just been on the edge of your seats waiting for this huh?

I have officially joined the US Army. I swore in yesterday. I leave on the 22nd. Now, i dont know if I had said anything before, but this is something i have wanted to do since i was 14 yrs old. I have the chance to do it now. My job here went south in a hell of a hurry, there are no other jobs around, so, there was the opportunity. I promise to blog when I can, but I wont be around for quite some time.. Look for me in December, when I am home for christmas and then again in july when i am done with training.

Take care everyone.

On Hiatus

2005-10-26T15:06:00.000-04:00

Since things are picking up for me, with my starting a new life, Its time to take a hiatus from blog world.. I'll update before I take off for a few months & Ill let ya all know when i return, provided i can remember my username and password.. haha. if not, ill be making a new blog. (possibly)

Til then, enjoy the blog world all.

Welcome to the Neighborhood

2005-10-20T13:35:00.000-04:00

I have my very first "Blog Tenant". Please welcome Justdawn to the block.

Dawn and I have sorta gotten to know each other thru blog explosion. She is a very kind, sweet, smart, talented writer who just happens to like my blog designs. lol. SO, without further adu, Welcome Mz Dawn!!!

*Hope you find the place nice and comfy girl!! I cleaned the place up a bit just for you.

PS and like Dawn, i hadnt realized you dont get an email if someone bids for space.. YIKES! Please forgive me for ignoring bids ok? Please pretty please??

You may be asking

2005-10-17T10:17:00.000-04:00

Just what the hell is going on? Well honestly, I couldnt tell you.. I know things are a friggen roller coaster ride.. and frankly, I am really starting to hate roller coasters. Last friday, I left work. Not really by choice, but I told my broker I was possibly joining the military, she told me it was a mistake & then asked me to clean out my desk.. and to add insult to injury, she made sure that she told me to "take only whats yours, not the companies" well fuck her. I am not a damn thief.. that shit pisses me off. So I left everything there, except for what I bought.. I left my excess business cards, my name riders, and a bunch of other things. Sad thing is, I still have to pay my rent to them.. ugh! I am thinking of taking my License elsewhere & saying "fuck you" to them. I may not even be joining the military *depends on if i get my waiver or not* so I can still sell real estate part time *ill have to get a full time job if my prospects dont turn out* There are plenty of other offices around.. Husband and I are still having issues. It sucks. I am a "touchy feely" kind of person, I need to be held, hugged, kissed often throughout the day.. If I want any of that, I have to go "take" them from him. No matter how many times he tells me it is a problem with him, it still makes me feel like its ME because of his actions. One day, he was all huggykissy and the next BOOM, no more. It makes me feel like I am the problem, Like I am the one who fucked him up in the head. We talk about the future.. He keeps telling me that sometimes he wishes I would just say "fuck it" and move on, so I can find happiness elsewhere. He knows that he is not making me happy right now, and sometimes, honestly, I think about giving up and moving on. But its not that easy. I just cant walk away that easily without a fight. I still love him & it kills me not knowing how he feels about me. Anyway.. off track. We talk about the future, making plans for both scenerios.
Scenerio 1: He feels that he will never beat his demons, I move on.. I have kids for summer, he keeps them for school (my idea) I see them as often as possible depending on duty station *if the military plan pans out* He brings them to see me on weekends, I take leave and see kids.. blah blah blah.
Scenerio 2: He pulls his head out of his ass & realizes that I am not his demons. He wants to follow me all over the place, but not until I get rank *fuck! we did this when he was in the army for 8 fucking years.. we struggled til he hit e-5, with 3 kids.. its not like we cant do it again.. and when he had less rank, the pay was a lot less than what it is now*
Scenerio 3: I give up and say fuck it.. I am moving on.. find someone else down the road, he pulls head out of ass realizes he loves me, doesnt say anything because i am happy, he is miserable & well.. you can see how that would play out.

any way you look at my situation, it sucks!

Jerzey Humor

2005-10-15T13:40:00.000-04:00

Uhh, I de-published this post.. my god it was too damn long!!

I've been

2005-10-11T13:17:00.000-04:00

tagged by Dawn over at Pockets of Resistance... ummm... a couple days ago! *I am a bad blogger!!!* So, I guess better late than never is a correct thing to say in this situation.. lol.

1. If money were no object, what would you be doing with your life?

I would be travelling the world, soaking up as much history as I could (I am a big history buff), going everywhere, seeing everything I could.

2. Money is just that - an object, so why aren't you doing it?

umm... the world revolves on that evil green stuff, so, until I have enough of it, I am stuck right where I am.

3. What's better: horses or cows?

ummmmm...cows taste better;)
(I agree w/ dawn on this one)

4. What do you think the secret to happiness is?

If I knew that. I dont think I would share the info. I think everyone needs to find their own happiness.

5. When was the last time you had a dream that you either remember well or did not want to awake from? Can you share a bit?

honestly, I don't remember any of my dreams...

6. When you were a little kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a blogger.. a good one.. nah, just kiddin, when I was a kid, there was no such thing as a blog.. bogs? yes, blogs no! Honestly, I changed my mind on what I wanted to be every time the wind blew. When I was 14 or 15, I decided I wanted to serve my country.. I wanted to fly helicopters or jets.

7. Complete this statement: Love is...

strange.

8. Can you tell a good story? (write one!)

nope, i cant tell stories.. i am a sucky writer (which is why this blog sucks!)

9. Can you remember your last daydream? What was it about?

yes I can. I prefer to keep that lil golden nugget in my own head thankyouverymuch.

10. If you were to thank someone today, who would you thank?

My mom & dad for raising me & my husband for supporting my decision 100% and for starting to slowly pull his head out of his ass.

I guess I have to tag some people to do this now. hmmm.. How about GhostBlogger, OldGuy & JoiseyGirl??

is this a good score??

2005-10-06T16:18:00.000-04:00

I went and took the test today.. i was a little nervous waiting for the results, but..

I guess I'll take you back a little while in the day..

the alarm woke my old ass up at 630. I get around, trying to find something to wear.. nothing.. *damn shoulda done some laundry tomorrow* stole one of husbands shirts *with his permission of course* got dressed, make up on, hair pulled back, 7 am, head out the door. get to the recruiters by 730... sit and wait..

head on the way up north west of where i am, chat with the recruiter and realize.. he is pretty fricken hilarious to be around. a real down to earth guy, who actually *gasp* tells the truth!

anyway.. i get there, we have to wait for the lady who administers the test to show up. the test started at 930, finished just after 1230. OMG, i could have died.. first thing i had asked was where can i go smoke.. i hadnt had a cigarette since 730 that morning.. I was starting to fiend pretty badly.

got my scores back.. well part of them. the main part (english & math) to my surprise, i scored an 80. I honestly had no idea if that was good or bad.. turns out, it was good.. I only needed a 36 to get "in" so the 80 will help plead my waiver case. YAY! go me.

Here we go!

2005-10-05T11:51:00.000-04:00

Or so it seems anyway. I know its been a little while since I have posted anything worth while. So here is a worth while post. I have been talking with the local *insert branch of service name here* recruiter about enlisting. I went yesterday to start the paperwork. He must have asked me about 10 times if I was sure I wanted to do this. My reply was "yep" I do have to get a waiver to get in because I have 3 children, but since I am married, it will help that situation a lot. My scores on the *test* and my credit will also help the waiver thing. So, its looking good, but its not a definite yet. I am going tomorrow to take the test. I have to admit, I am getting pretty excited though. When you have wanted to do something for 12-13 yrs, you tend to get anxious when you actually get the chance. I am just glad husband is being completely supportive about this. Actually, we are both hoping that if/when I get accepted, the time apart will help both of us out.. not just him. I know its going to be hard on him considering, I have raised those kids since birth and he was gone a lot in the Army. Its going to be a complete role reversal & maybe he will gain a little respect for what I had to go through when he was gone *basic training, field *many many many times*, deployments *2* etc. Raising children alone is not the easiest thing in the world to do, so I have the utmost respect for single parents. I am just glad, husband will be here when I leave. He will have mucho help in the child rearing department.

I was filling out some paperwork last night, reading some of the ridiculous questions they ask you for security purposes & my daughter (9yrs old) came up & asked what I was doing. Her little brothers were right by her & I couldn't tell her.. but she is smart, so she said "are you going in the military?" I can not lie to my children, because, well, they would find out anyway, so I told her the truth.. She wasn't too happy about it, but she said she will be ok. My son (7yr old) told me that he will miss me and my youngest (5yr old) said he is going to send me lots of notes. I am glad they are going to be ok with me being gone. In all reality, that was one of my biggest fears. My children resenting me because I left them. I know now, that that will not be the case. And that is a huge burden off of my shoulders.

So wish me luck tomorrow, pray I don't fail the test (I doubt I will, I took a practice one yesterday & the recruiter told me that I would be placed in the top 10 of the ones he has given out.. he has been at it for 4 yrs.. I should be just fine tomorrow)

Thanks to everyone who has commented in the posts below.. things around the house haven't gotten much better, but it seems to be improving a lot. I do understand a lot of what husband is going through. And I am so sorry to see that he is having such a hard time dealing with what he has been through. I do know that it is perfectly normal for him to want to push away his wife with PTSD.. I also know that there is still a glimmer of hope that we will be able to work through this.. together.. I haven't given up on him completely. I don't think I will be able to give up altogether ever.. not knowing what I know now.. That's something for another post though. Maybe one day I will write about it, but not now.

Update your links

2005-10-03T11:44:00.000-04:00

If you happen to have me linked, change 'em. Got a new URL

http://jerzeygirl78.blogspot.com/

Post removed

2005-10-02T02:22:00.000-04:00

there was something here, now its gone.. wonder where it went? Ill have to go find it!

The End..

2005-10-01T18:45:00.000-04:00

Or is it just the begining. The stress level around the house has dropped about 45% the past couple hours. Husband and I have decided to seperate. I guess the reality of the situation is this: we have both been feeling this way for a while, but neither one of us wanted to hurt the other. It came out this afternoon, there were no few tears, a reverse exchange of rings (i got his, he got mine, with a promise to hold on to them, incase, down the road, we decide to try again) and a talk about who is getting what.. where the kids will be and how we will go about this. I, on the other hand, am leaving. Well sorta. I will be talking with a military recruiter very soon. I have wanted to join the military since I was 14 or 15yrs old (went and saw my big brother graduate from basic training, I was hooked since then) I am almost at the age cut off & well.. if I am ever gonna do it, now is the time. So.. For once in my life, I am thinking with 98% clarity. I know I will be just fine (so long as my plans work). My children will be just fine & so will my husband. I guess I can chage my status to "seperated" here soon. Altho, we will not be filing any paperwork any time soon, It will come in time. There is a chance that after my training, we could work things out, so why file papers that will become null and void anyway. If things dont get any better, or we realize our feelings have changed to the point that there is no going back, we will file paperwork then.

I thought "breaking up" was supposed to tear a person to pieces.. Why does it feel like I am getting put back together?

Changes

2005-09-30T10:10:00.000-04:00

Changes are in the wind. I can feel it in my bones. Things are starting to look differently in my eyes & I now know that whatever happens, I will be just fine. I had a great talk with a friend last night, he made me realize that whatever happens, I will land on my feet, ready to start fresh if need be. I will be forever grateful to my friend. Sometimes.. all you need is a friend, one who knows you, to point you in the right direction.

Husband and I had a long talk last night. I am to the point of trying to make myself happy... I told him this. I honestly think that he hopes that I will just sit around and be miserable while he figures things out. How do you sit around and hope that someone figures out how they feel about you? I realized last night that this is not how i want to live. I dont want to hope that he will come around and realize he still loves me. I will always love him, he is the father of my children, and my first real true love. There will always be a piece of my heart reserved for him. I think I took him by surprise last night when I told him that maybe we would be better off apart.. and that we both know that its coming. He said he didnt know it was coming until I said something. Things arent getting much better in our relationship, but they arent getting any worse.. if anything, things are just dying out. The spark we always had seems to be fizzling out. The love is there, just hiding. He knows I love him, I know he loves me. But there is something missing. We both know it.. I am learning to accept it. I dont know where he is with it.

I cant dwell on things and i know that just makes me a horrible person.. I feel like I am the one leaving him, instead of the other way around. Maybe because I am telling him that we would be better off apart. Maybe because I am flat out refusing to go back to texas. Why would I want to uproot my children? Again?? they have been all over the world, hell my youngest was BORN in Germany. They have no idea what a "normal" life is like & who the hell am I to deprive them of "normal"? They now come first in my life. They are what I live for, they are the reason I am making myself pick up and carry on. Them and them alone.

Clearing the mind

2005-09-29T11:34:00.000-04:00

And cleansing the soul. I should be at work right now getting stuff together to send out, instead, I am here.. why? I have been thinking a lot the past 24hrs. I seemed to have put my soul into this template & I think it turned out well. I honestly feel how the girl looks in the image to your left. Down, depressed.. all that good shit. But for me, its no longer about what I may be losing. Its all about what I am gonna keep. My marriage may be headed down the shitter, but I cant think of that.. I have to keep the chin up for the sake of my kids. They are the most important thing to me right now. I am tired and worn down. I know my husband loves me, but he has forgotten how to show it, and that is one thing I have a hard time dealing with. So. My decision for today is to not let that get me down anymore. He will have to figure out what he wants for himself. I cannot sit here and be used for a piece of ass when he is feeling spunky. I cannot be a punching bag for his emotions, I ~~cannot~~ WILL NOT be dragged down any further than I already am.

Today is a new day, I almost feel like I have a clear mind, I know what I want to do, I just have to save the money to do it. It involved me, my kids & my dog. Gone.. He wants to figure things out, he wants to spend time chatting with assholewhofuckedupmylife's wife, he wants to have his cake and eat it too.. fine.. Its my turn. I want to figure out what I want. I am 27 yrs old. I have been with one man since I was 16. Maybe its time for something else. Maybe I need some time by myself. To live as an adult, to be by myself, to get my head on straight. I wonder how he would feel if I spent as much time on the phone with another guy as he does with assholewhofuckedupmylife's wife? Would it make him jealous? Would it make him realize that what he does hurts me? He says there is nothing going on with them.. I believe it to an extent.. But one can never be 100% sure. I don't know what they talk about, I have no idea.. Who knows what the conversation is about.. all i know is that assholewhofuckedupmylife's wife is going through a hard time, and i guess she thinks that its perfectly ok to get closer to my husband who is going through some issues of his own. I mean, he doesnt talk to me about any of the shit he is dealing with, so why not talk to her.. he has to be talking to someone about it right?

I dunno, I am rambling again. It is helping to get my thoughts down. Now i just have to hope that assholewhofuckedupmylife's wife doesnt find this and i have to hope that husband doenst find it either.. because well 2 can play the 'i dont wanna talk to you about it' game. and if thats how he would rather play, its game on.

New Template

2005-09-29T10:02:00.000-04:00

Yep, I finished a new template for me.. much better. What do ya think?

feels like...

2005-09-28T11:35:00.000-04:00

I am hitting bottom. It has gotten to the point where distractions arent working anymore (for me anyway) I am so down i cant see the top anymore. I love my husband to death, but.... The roller coaster of emotions and the hot/cold feelings I get from him are driving me to the brink of insanity. Last night was a kicker. We went out on our normal tuesday night "date" (he shoots pool for the APA, so we turned it into our "date night", kids go to grandparents, we go out, usually have a good time) I felt invisible last night. He barely said 2 words to me... I talked to a friend, which seemed to help my feelings get a little mended up there. But then we got home. We brought the dog out and after she did her business we brought her into our room. We watched tv & played with JD. JD went to bed (her crate is in our room) Got changed and started to go to sleep. Got a cold "good night" and off to snoreland he went. JD was being a pill and woke him up. He got up, went to the bathroom, came back to bed, jumped on me, started the whole "pre-anything" activities.. thats when i realized.. he only wants something to do with me when he is horny. I am sorry, i couldnt get into it and stopped anything before it started. I dont like feeling like a piece of ass. and for the first time ever in our marriage I felt like thats all I was to him.. a piece of ass. I honestly dont know how much I can take, everyone says to be stong.. and we will make it through this.. I was stong for 8 years while he was off playing army.. why do i have to keep being stong? why cant I just be me? why cant I just be weak for once? DAMn the asshole who pushed husband over the edge (yes, there was more to the story.. and i am really pissed at said asshole for this) DAMN the assholes wife for taking up all of husbands time and concerns. I don't think i can make it through this one. I dont think this can be repaired. I am hurt and it feels like I am on the bottom.. or at least close to it.

expect a new template here soon.. I feel a change in the winds.. and well.. its time for a change..

oops

2005-09-26T14:21:00.000-04:00

I know it has been a while since my last post. I know I have been neglecting blog land. And I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies. I have had a lot on my mind the past couple weeks & well, they are still on my mind, but I cant dwell on them anymore. Its seriously dragging me down. SO.. with that said, I have made some changes in my life.. Good ones, i think anyway. I am slowly getting my business built up down here & I have picked back up a hobby I had let go a long time ago. I jumped back in with both feet & have gotten back into my graphics making. Its slightly different this time around, but its good for me. I joined a PSP (paint shop pro) message board, and that has taken up a lot of my time lately. It is a great distraction from what is going on in my life and god knows I could use a good distraction.

You might notice that my posts have been jumping around.. I am sorry about that.. My brain is mush & i dont know when it will solidify again. Hopefully soon, because I hate having my thoughts jump from one thing to another and then back again. It gets old real quick.

Speaking of Old, i promise to get that template done.. I may finish up the CSS for it soon, maybe tonight, you may have it by the end of the week if everything goes as planned.

Friday night we are going to go see Josh Gracin at Tropicana in Atlantic City. YAY! I am pretty excited about that & am really lookin forward to getting out for the night. Guess that is all for now.. my face is sunburnt (boat races in Wildwood yesterday!!), i am hacking up my lungs & sneezing my nose off (i love this time of year!) So i am gonna jump back in to my PSP and then relax for the rest of the day.

Still thinkin....

2005-09-19T12:53:00.000-04:00

First, I want to thank you all for your kind words in the post below. Things are still messed up a bit around the house, but with some time, hopefully things will turn around. I have decided that in May, I am going back to texas. Do I really want to? I dont know, but I feel that its just best to get the situation taken care of & well, its a lot cheaper down there, then it is up here.. that will help the financial strain that we are experiancing. Husband will most likely be taking a "Hiatus" from family life sticking me with the raising of our children & the questions they will ask.. I mean, how in the hell are they going to understand that. It has been made perfectly clear to me that this is not an issue between me & him, it IS an issue with him & him alone. I just wish he didnt mask it so well that he blindsided me with the "I need to move out". I think thats the worst of it.. I didnt know.. I had no clue things were as bad for him as it is. *sigh* We did have a decent weekend. Thursday and Friday he was away, he came back on Friday night. He said he had a great time except for the last 1/2 of the day on friday.. but that had nothing to do with his issues.. well ok, maybe a little bit, but it totally screwed up any good that the rest of the time did for him.

So, here I sit, my life in limbo once again. I hate that this is happening and what I hate even more is that there is nothing I can do about it. He has been my life since Highschool. I hate to let him go, but if this is something he needs to do, then I guess I have no other choice but to let him do it. Why fight him on it & cause more stress.. then there is another side of me that thinks, if i fight harder maybe that will help.. If there was something I could do, maybe that would help.. right now, I just feel so damn helpless.

Oh well.. guess I need to get on with my life.. Like the saying goes.. all good things must come to an end. Unfortunetly, I guess this is one of those good things.

Intro-spective

2005-09-13T12:19:00.000-04:00

If you have come here looking for the normal blabbering from me, you might as well just leave now. Today, I actually have something on my mind, other then internet crap.

A few weeks ago, a friend of my husbands & mine did something really stupid. And for that, he is now paying the price. Since that day, my husband has been down, really down. funny thing is, he isnt involved. But it makes you wonder. The past week & a half has been pure hell for me. My husband dropped a bombshell on me & has decided it would be better for him if we were apart. I got the whole, it isnt you, its me routine, but I cant help but wonder.. IS it me? did I do something that he is not telling me about?? It took me a few days to realize, that it is NOT me..

If you know anything about me, you will know that my husband served in Iraq for a year, in 2003. He was also the first group of soldiers in Kosovo after the air force stopped dropping bombs. That was back in 1999. Because of both of these things, he is pretty screwed up in the head. He was diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) I am not quite sure how to deal with him in the situation we are in right now. My Jersey Girl roots will be uprooted again, and We (me & the kids) will be moving back to Texas, where our house is. This wont be for a few months as there is a tenant in our house at the moment. He will be staying here, working until he can find a job down there.. We simply cannot afford to have 2 houses up here while he is working through his issues. I am torn up inside. I have been with this man for 11 years. We started dating in September of 1994. We took a break from October 1994 until April 1995. We have been together ever since. Yes, if you do the math ( i am 27) I was 16 when we first got together. He says, its temporary, so he can work on finding himself, It just doesnt feel that way.
This morning, he called me and told me to go listen to a song.. I'm Already there, by Lonestar. I sat down, listened for the first time in years and just cried. I am not sure why he wanted me to listen to that song this morning. I just know that things around here arent the same, Things are all messed up and my brain is mush. I just cant sit down and concentrate on anything, and it figues, I am right in the middle of a blog re-design for someone. (which I promise I will get done.. ) I dont know, I guess I am just rambling & I just wanted to get this out.. somewhere.. somehow.

I just want to find a way to help him & I know there is nothing I can do. All I can do is just sit by and watch him leave and just hope that he comes to his senses and finds his way back to me & our children.

Welcome J.D.

2005-09-11T17:39:00.000-04:00

We finally decided a name for our little devil dog. Her name will be J.D. which is actually short for Jersey Devil.

We loved the idea of "Jerzey" but she needed something more. She is turning out to be quite the little mischievious one, so the Devil part was added on.

Thank you all for helping name our new addition :)

New Addition to the Family

2005-09-10T17:45:00.000-04:00

now if only she had a name!!

This afternoon, my hubby & I met up with a girl I met on this message board. She had a puppy to give away, and I was more than happy to take her. We fell in love with her instantly. This pup is so dang cute, full of energy & down - right adorable if I dont say so myself. But she has NO name!!

I could really use some help. My hubby & I have decided to leave it up to you guys. If you can think of a cute suggestion for her, We would be eternally grateful. If you can come up with the name, you get the satisfaction of knowing you helped out someone with this very important task :)

So, without further adu, her is Our newest family member :)

here she is with that "what are you looking at" look on her face

This is my favorite so far.. In the background is ghostblogger
So what do you think? Will ya help me out? If you come up with a suggestion, just leave me a comment :)

Jerzey Girl on Google?

2005-09-08T13:11:00.000-04:00

See? I would'nt have believed it if I hadnt seen it with my own 2 eyes!

Actually, what this is is pretty cool. Its called Logogle. Just go there, click on google logo maker & Voila! You have your very own google page. Pretty cool huh?

Now.. Since I was there at my very own google site, I had to check and see what putting in "Jerzey Girl" would bring up.. Here are a few of the sites that came up when searching for the one and only me! :) Of course, this is only the first page of results

World Talk Radio Gobunny.com presents: San Diego Online Radio ...
9/9/2004 September 9, The Girls from Jerzey Clothing in the studio, special caller from the ASR Show and more! Special Guests from Jerzey Clothing ...

Advertising Rates
In the near future, a banner included on the Jerzey Girls Eventz mailings. As of this writing 8/8/02:. Tgirls is:. Receiving 35000+ site visits per month.

Phunky Bloggers
11. Land, Sea, and Sky Join Date: February 18, 2002 Just your average Jerzey girl, trying to make it through the day... ...

Goapele Forum: Goapele DESERVES RECOGNITION Ngwana wa ba
Like i say ngwana wa batho you deserve the recognition, Girl you work your sh*t ... Jerzey __________________ Goapele is more than pure soul... She is soul! ...

Halloween Party
The Jerzey Girls Karaoke. When: FRIDAY and SATURDAY NIGHTS FALL/WINTER 02/03. Come Dressed as your favorite musician. Fun, Prizes . Great Prizes Great Fun!

Click on any photo to email us
Especially if you happen to be a Jerzey Girl! And even better if you happen to be ... Doll still holds rank as a Jerzey Girl! Can a biker impress a priest?

Jason Cerbone of "The Sopranos"
Jerzey Girl Carmela: What part of Italy is your family from? Jason Cerbone: Naples. Although I've never been there, hopefully, some day, I will. ...

Did you mean to search for: Jersey Girl
(of course it had to ask for the "correct" spelling.. lol)

LoGogle was found @ When Tara Met Blog

Other than that, a bunch of crap came up, things aren't too good around Jerzey Land. Hopefully things will turn out how they are supposed to.. and that certain people will pull their heads out of their asses.

Next in line!!

2005-09-07T15:13:00.000-04:00

I stole this from her who stole it from someone else.. see a pattern here??

Get your position here

Just call me a Copy Cat

2005-09-07T12:52:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, when I was surfing through my blog roll, I stumbled across this site Ok, So I couldnt have possibly stumbled in there because she is on my blog roll. Well something looked different about her blog.. What could it possibly be?? OH!!! I know what it is, she has a Halloween template up there! Its an awesome template, and too cute as well. This is the conversation that followed in my head the very next minute:

"What month is it? I asked myself? September.. Halloween is next month? Yep.. halloween is in October. Already?? Yep, time to get the kids costumes together.. its gonna be a good year for trick or treating!!.. wonder if Joiseygirl would get offended if I changed my site over to a halloween template almost right after she did? I hope not.. but I am doing it anyway"

So Mz Joiseygirl, If you are offended, in any way, shape or form, I apologize.. But ya really inspired me. I do have other things I SHOULD be doing, but alas, I am not. I am here blogging and changing my template around.. again...

Oh if ya didnt notice.. Take a peek at the title of the bloggy-poo.. Its been changed. I noticed on blog rolls, that I am listed as Jerzey Girl.. I figured I might as well take on the name.. It never changes that way, and I wont get as bored with it either... lol

A little of this, A little of that.

2005-09-06T10:42:00.000-04:00

I know, I know, I havent updated yet this month! I have been around, reading, not posting, but there is a good explaination. See it all started off early last week when I got some sort of stomach bug.. that knocked me out for 2 days, then I was busy busy busy. I have been working on a template for someone, on MT & part of it is kicking my rear end. I hate that. For the life of me, I CanNOT remember how to get the comments, archives and extended entries to look like the rest of the page. Its frustrating to say the least.

Yesterday we had a BBQ for Labor day. Had some GOOOOOOD eats, good times & only very little drama (that was on me... whoops!) I got my panties in a wrinkle when someone decided it would be a good idea to throw some gasoline on the DRY wood (in a copper? fire pit thingy) and lite a match to it. Not the brightest idea in the world & it probably wouldnt have bothered me as much if it wasnt for that damn thing called PMS.

I plan on going into work today, actually I am, but not for a couple more hours. I am sitting here, 1/2 ready to go (still need to do hair and make up). Thursday night we are going to pick up a puppy. I am excited about that, but I know others in the house arent. :( I havent laid eyes on her yet, but she is part Aussie Shepherd. We had one a long time ago, well not really. She died about a year ago. She got Parvo, or some other disease. She was sick from the time we got her, But she was the best damn dog we ever owned. I miss her & I hope that this one, who is part same breed (our Zoey was part Miniature Aussie Shepherd), fills a little of the void that she left in our lives when she died. *see picture below*

I Survived!!!!

2005-08-30T12:39:00.000-04:00

Family reunion went off without a hitch, but thats not all we did Saturday. Saturday morning, we went to go look for houses, Modular houses actually. I was surprised that they look the way they look. They claim to be "real" houses that are just fabricated under much supervision & in a climate controlled area. Ok fine. What sold me on it was the price. Just have to find some buildable land, which there is some of around.. so that wont be too hard. Best part.. all of this will cost less than a resale house in the area.. *woohoo! a never been lived in home for us it will be!!*

Saturday, we had the reunion. It was great to see the family all in one place. there were no problems except with this one jackass (who was not family BTW) who fell off a chair 3 times, almost knocked over a table full of beer bottles & cups *from the keg of course*, tried to throw my aunt (mind you, she was 3 sheets by that time) into the pool. My predictions were right, we did have a keg *it was empty by 1030pm* We did have our pyramid (no pics, my cousins batteries died before that point) We all did have a good time. Next year, the family reuinion duties have been passed down to the younger generation. I am the oldest of the younger gen (because my brothers do not live in this state), so it looks like it will be my doing next year..

Quiz Time!!

2005-08-26T19:54:00.000-04:00

this is fun...can you beat 20?
The average person only gets 7 right.
This is based on U.S. info, so use all lobes of your brain. This can be more difficult than it looks - it just shows how little most of us really see!

There are 25 questions about things we see every day or have known about all our lives. How many can you get right? These little simple questions are harder than you think-- it just shows you how little we pay attention to the commonplace things of life.

Put your thinking caps on. No cheating! No looking around! No getting out of your chair! No using anything on or in your desk or computer!

Can you beat 20?? (The average is 7) Write down your answers and check answers (on the bottom) AFTER completing all the questions.
REMEMBER - NO CHEATING!!! *comment to let me know how many you got right. I got 17, shocked the hell outta me*

BE HONEST!!! That means no looking at your phone or anything on your desk...

LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE. - If not, just have fun! Here we go!

1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?
2. How many states are there in the USA? (Don't laugh, some people don't know)
3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?
4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?
5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?
6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg? (Don't you dare get up to see!)
7. How many matches are in a standard pack?
8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?
9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?
10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise?
11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?
12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?
13. On which side of a women's blouse are the buttons?
14. Which way do fans rotate?
15. How many sides does a stop sign have?
16. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?
17. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?
18. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?
19. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?
20. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
21. On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?
22. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?
23. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?
24. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?
25. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?

Answers!!! If you havent finished yet, you better scroll your self back up to the one you left off on!! :P

1. Bottom
2. 50
3. Right
4. Blue, red, white, yellow, black, &gold
5. 1, 0
6. Right
7. 20
8. Red
9. 87.7
10. Clockwise (north of the equator)
11. Towards bottom right
12. 12 (no number 1)
13. Left
14. Clockwise as you look at it
15. 8
16. Left
17. 5
18. 6
19. Bashful
20. 8
21. Ace of spades
22. Left
23. *, pound
24. 3
25. Counter

Its the Clampets go to Maui...

2005-08-26T15:02:00.000-04:00

Yeah, thats whats happening here in my town tomorrow. It is the M****** family reunion. Omg, we come from all walks of life.. Most of us are plain ol' rednecks. One may ask how there can be 'rednecks' in NJ.. well, let me tell ya, we live in an area that at one time *notice I said one time* used to have A LOT of trees *now, not so many* It used to be pretty desolate here. (not only that, but a lot of our family is from east bumblefuck PA) I am expecting the lot of us to go through a quite a few cases of beer, quite a lot of bottles of booze, A can pyramid to be built (ill take pictures.. lol), Lots of food to be eaten, Kids to go swimmin & an all around good time to be had by all. I DONT expect to have very many 'sophisticated' conversations, I dont expect to remember most of the night, I don't expect to be hung over the next morning either (I never have been, even when I've spent the night praying to the porcelin gods) I do expect to hang out with my brothers, who both live in different states (one texas, one south carolina) So, while blogging may be scarce this weekend, just know, I am having a grand ol' time hangin' out with the Rednecks of South Jersey (and East Bumblefuck PA)

Sheer Laziness

2005-08-25T15:51:00.000-04:00

I have been so dang lazy the past couple days. I have barely blogged. But.. In all reality, I havent been "that" lazy. I have been working on some templates. I just finished one for Pockets of Resistance and am working on one for Denotsko Just awaiting final approval & what changes need to be made on that one. I have also been tweeking a template for my graphics blog I still have to decide what to put up there, I have a CD of my old templates for blogger along with some graphics & blinkies I had made.

Rant

2005-08-25T11:06:00.000-04:00

[rant]

WHY is it that whenever my blog sits up on the BOTB, this one blog that ALWAYS beats me, CHOOSES to battle me yet again?? WTF is up with that shit.. Personally, I am getting very tired of losing to her.. & this is honestly getting ridiculous!!!

[/rant]

Phew

2005-08-24T20:09:00.000-04:00

Remember this post? That evil email I sent that I really shouldnt have? Well, I guess it was a good thing it actually got sent. I am recieving absolutely NO backlash from it at all. I guess I need to see the good in people every once in a while huh?

Have been busy today

2005-08-24T18:24:00.000-04:00

Today was a fun day.. yeah. sure.. it definetly was. I have been busy busy busy. I was supposed to go to work today, but whoops, time flew away from me.. Instead, I went grocery shopping, took My Mom with me, she needed the exercise, so off we went. After that, I got on a template making storm. I promised someone that I would re-do her template for her, so its not so generic. I got that finished & am now waiting for her final approval on it. So far, so good. Now, dinner is grilling & simmering & baking *grilled pork chops, baked beans *on the stove* and tater tots in the oven* and I am wiped out!

I am an Idiot!!

2005-08-23T15:01:00.000-04:00

have you ever written an email with no intention to send it, and you hit the send button instead of save or delete?? I cannot believe i fricken just did that!!! I feel like such an ass about it right now.. holy shit holy shit holy shit!!!!

Eh, i guess ill just chalk this up to another stupid airhead moment, hopefully, i wont get much backlash from it..

stupid stupid stupid!!!

Criteria

2005-08-23T10:14:00.000-04:00

I have noticed some people posting about the BOTB on Blog Explosion being Unfair, or they are complaining about not winning any battles. So that got me thinking.. Just what does one look for in a blog that makes it better then the other? I figured I would post my criteria for voting for a blog. It may help some people figure out why I vote the way I vote

1. Load time, If I can count to 30 and 1/2 the blog still isnt loaded, i move on to the other one and if theirs loads faster, they get the vote
2. content. I must enjoy what I am reading. Techi, Religious and Political rarely get my vote unless the other blog is really slow loading or their content is much more annoying then being told the president is a liar, that my ISP or my computer hardware sucks and I should really buy "this" kind or being told that what I believe is all wrong, or spouting out about their religious journey... for a non-religious person, this gets old fast.
3. Eye pleasing. I dont care if its a run of the mill generic template, as long as it is pleasing to the eye and not a mismash of colors and styles, you got my vote
4. I dont like opening a website & having pictures of nekkid folk lining the page.. why? because I have children and sometimes they are watching what I am doing.. I dont really want to have to explain to a 5yr old why that woman's boobies are flashing across my computer screen.
5. entertain me.. I love to laugh & comedy is up there with post content.. If you can make me giggle or relate to your post in any way shape or form, you got my vote!
6. past voting. If I happen to notice that both blogs are A OK and I am having a hard time deciding, Ill make a mental note of who NEVER votes for me. If either one had NEVER voted for my blog, they wont get my vote.. principal I guess.. I have noticed that some bloggers never vote for me.. they always vote for the "other guy" no matter who it is, makes me think its personal.. So I will return the favor. This does not apply to blogs I have never seen battling before.

how about you guys? whats your criteria?

Pick me up

2005-08-22T20:45:00.000-04:00

I am trying to recover from todays disaster, so I thought, why not bore you all with a meme! I was checking out the blog roll and stumbled across this over at Mouthy Mom's & if you do this on your blog, let me know, Ill drop on over and see what we have in common!

So, without further adu:

Copy and paste this onto your blog. Bold the items which pertain to you and make comments if so inclined.

smoked a cigarette
crashed a friends car
stolen a car
been in love
been dumped
shop lifted

been fired
been in a fist fight - oops, there's my jersey attitude coming out again
snuck out of your parents house Not like I had to, did it for kicks.. went out the window, came in the front door.. lol
had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
been arrested and/or in spent a night in jail

gone on a blind date
was a blind date
lied to a friend
skipped school yeah, i know.. bad jerzey girl!
seen someone die

had a crush on one of your internet friends
been to Canada
been to Mexico I went to Cancun on an unsupervised trip my senior year of high school
been to Jamaica
been on a plane

been on a train
been on a cruise
purposely set a part of yourself on fire teenage boredom!
eaten Sushi
been skiing

met someone in person from the Internet Wish I hadnt
been at a concert
taken painkillers
love someone or miss someone
laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by

made a snow angel
had a tea party
flown a kite
built a sand castle
gone puddle jumping

played dress up
jumped into a pile of leaves
gone sledding.
cheated while playing a game
been lonely
fallen asleep at work/school Lets just say that I barely passed my Jr yr of hs because of this.

used a fake id
watched the sun set
felt an earthquake
touched a snake
slept beneath the stars
been tickled

been robbed
been misunderstood
petted a reindeer/goat/kangaroo
rode a horse or any other farm animal
won a contest
run a red light/stop sign completely on accident

been suspended from school Please see above fist fighting comment
been in a car crash if you call a fender bender a car crash, yes.. if not.. no
had braces
felt like an outcast/third person. constantly with my old neighbor/used to be best friend.
eaten a whole tub of ice-cream in one sitting? Only the pint!
had deja vu its like deja vu all over again!

danced in the moonlight
liked the way you look
witnessed a crime
questioned your heart
been obsessed with post-it notes
squished barefoot through the mud

been lost
been to the opposite side of the country
cried yourself to sleep
played cops and robbers
played cowboys and Indians
recently colored with crayons I DO have kids ya know.

sung karaoke.
paid for a meal with only coins
done something you told yourself you wouldnt
made prank phone calls
laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose almost.. does that count? I mean, if you snort it back in does it still count as coming out in the first place??
caught a snowflake on your tongue

danced in the rain
written a letter to Santa Claus
been kissed under a mistletoe
watched the sun rise with someone you care about
blown bubbles
made a bonfire on the beach
crashed a party

gone roller skating, roller blading, and/or ice skating
had a wish come true
jumped off a bridge Dont tell mom, she will think i was nuts!
ate dog/cat food no comment
told a complete stranger you loved them
kissed a mirror.

sang in the shower
had a dream that you married someone
glued your hand to something-
got your tongue stuck to a flag pole - or anything frozen
kissed a fish -
sat on a roof top -

screamed at the top of your lungs
done a one-handed cartwheel
talked on the phone for more than 5 hours
stayed up all night
picked and ate an apple right off the tree
climbed a tree
had a tree house

scared to watch scary movies alone
believe in ghosts
have more then 30 pairs of shoes
worn a really ugly outfit to school
gone streaking
gone doorbell ditching

played gay chicken
pushed and/or fell into a pool/hot tub / lake with all your clothes on
told youre hot by a complete stranger
broken a bone
been easily amused
caught a fish then ate it (after it was cooked of course)

caught a butterfly and/or firefly
laughed so hard you cried
cried so hard you laughed
cheated on a test
forgotten someones name
French braided someones hair

Cut your own hair
gone skinny dippin in a pool/hot tub and/or lake or ocean
been threatened to be kicked out of your house
been kicked out your house
loved someone so much you would gladly die for them?

Kinda Down

2005-08-22T16:00:00.000-04:00

Today has been a let down. I have been on the phone most of the afternoon with a mortgage company. We cant buy that house we wanted. It figures. They say we owe too much, which isnt completely true.. we get buy. In fact, we used to owe a lot more, but have since paid down almost 80% of our debt. Unfortunetly, the housing market around here is OUTRAGEOUS and I dont see how anyone making under 50000/yr can afford to live in this area.

me thinks its time to pack up and head back to tx, where we already own a home.. and our income seems to go a lot further. *phhhbbtt on NJ housing right now* A girl can only take so much before she snaps, and I think the snapping point it coming up soon. After all, right now, we live in a house that we pay way too much for in rent, where the floors slope, *and i am not talking a mild slope, you can see the damn slope in the doorways, you can see the slopes in the carpet in the living room, you can see the wavy walls, and you can hear the creaks and cracks when walking.. walk softly, or the floor might fall in* But yet, you have to be a damn millionaire to be able to buy a house around here.. fuck it, i am going back south *yeah, sure I will.. I hated it there (at times) besides, i am a jersey girl.. 100% pure jersey!*

in other words.. fuckity fuck fuck fuck!

Quick Question

2005-08-21T20:01:00.000-04:00

Just what in the world is "tagging" i have seen people blogging about "being tagged" someone please enlighten me.. i seem to be a dunce tonight.

Whats that?

2005-08-21T19:10:00.000-04:00

whats that sound? I am not quite sure I know what that is?? OMG! Its QUIET!!!! Its been a while since the house has been quiet. Ma is in her room, Hubby is at a birthday party with the kids, so i am slackin.. sittin around, enjoying the peace and quiet. I vacuumed, spent some time on the phone with a friend, and now, i am blogging.

My daughter seems to be taking to the whole 'pit perfume' thing well. She is taking the whole 'growing up' thing much better then I am. I think my way to retaliate against it was to go get some hair dye and rid myself of the bleach blonde ends, and went with a nice reddish brown color. I figure my hair, which was so blonde it was almost white growing up, has now lost that lustre and is ending up in the muddy water section,.. which sucks.

ok, i need to stop before i start sounding like a tart. I am pretty dang tired and ya really shouldnt blog while sleepy..

Sit back & grab something to drink

2005-08-18T10:10:00.000-04:00

This might be a long post.

I have a 9yr old daughter. She is generally a great kid, she is really into reading & horses *altho, she has never ridden a horse, she loves them anyway* She is a bright little girl, comes homes with great grades in school, she is very concerned about her friends, she cares an enormous amount for them, and hates to get into little "scuffles" with them. To me, she is the world *well a 1/3 of the world, I have 2 boys too*

Last night, as I was saying good night to my little girl, I smelled something funky. I know she had showered, I know she had brushed her teeth, so I figured I was smelling something. Hell, I sniffed my own pits to make sure it wasnt me. It wasnt. "crap!" I thought to myself. Hurried up and asked dear hubby if he noticed something about her when she hugged him goodnight too. He thought it was her breath, so i let him know that she HAD brushed her teeth, and I saw her do it, so I know she wasnt lying about it.

She was sound asleep within minutes, but the thought of my little girl growing up scares the shit out of me. I am ONLY 27yrs old, much too young to have a 9 yr old anyway (yes, I was 17 when I had her)I cannot possibly be dealing with the dreaded "P" word.. Please tell me its not possible for her to be starting puberty???

Get online. google.com "how young do girls start puberty?" click on a link.. 8-13yrs. "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this really cannot be happening, my little angel can not be starting to turn into a woman.. NO! its too soon!! I AM NOT ok with this, I did not give her permission to grow up like this!!" so I start saying all kinds of stuff.. Its really too soon in my opinion, but thinking back, I was in about 5th grade when I noticed my own "stink" and I started wearing Bra's, she is only a year earlier than I was, so I guess it is entirely possible..

This morning, we had a little talk. As much as I was against it, as much as I hated to have this talk with her, it needed to be done.. Her response? "GROSS!!!" yeah.. I told her everything that is going to happen to her body.. She giggled when I told her she was gonna grow some boobies, She got grossed out at having hair grow under her arms and "down there" as i so nicely put it, she got scared at the thought of "bleeding" every month, and shaving her legs & pits is not something she cares to even think about right now. (and she doesnt have to, I told her it would come in time.. just like everything else)but she got a gift for sitting down with me for those nerve racking 10 minutes, her very own stick of deoderant (my brand new spare, until I get her her own) and instructions to make sure she showers every day or every other day (at the least)

So, I had that little talk with my Little girl.. I am stressed about it.. she is grossed out & noone feels any better..

Damn it, I didnt give her permission to grow up on me!!!

Ill Be Damned

2005-08-17T14:18:00.000-04:00

Today is starting out to be a decent day. The weather here in Jersey isnt too bad.. Its not too hot, its comfortable out. And that dang humidity isnt anywhere to be found. I cant wait to open the windows tonight and air the place out. Its starting to feel pretty stuff inside & the fresh air is calling me. I may hound hubby into taking the kids to the park after he gets off of work.. Its too nice out to stay inside all day.

I didn't go to work today. My mom was having a "good day" today, so I decided to stay home and enjoy it. Tomorrow is another story, I may head to work for a little while in the AM to catch up on some of my work, Provided I remember to bring back the stuff I brought home to work on. I swear its a blond thing why I cant remember something so simple as bringing work back to work where it belongs.

I am hooked on playing games on Real One arcade. Right now, I am playing Cosmic Bugs. I beat the new one already (water bugs) It seems like thats all I do anymore, Sit, play games & visit a couple message boards. Oh and make some new templates for blogger. Thats about it. Just another boring day in the neighborhood.

Blogging Guilt

2005-08-16T15:07:00.000-04:00

I wonder how many others have felt guilt over blogging? Not blogging in general, but blogging from work. Yes, I am currently at work & I am blogging. Something just doesn't seem right about it. I have been playing on blog explosions BOTB trying to pass some time, and well, somehow, this feeling of guilt washed over me. Its not like I am using a company computer, I am using my laptop. Its not like I am overly busy. In fact, I have nothing going on. Maybe its the fact that I am using their internet connection for my own personal pleasure? Who knows. Fact is, I feel guilty for blogging.. at work.

Now that I have expressed my guilt over blogging while working, On to the real stuff. Hubby & I have decided to buy a house. We looked at one about a month & a half ago. Its still on the market & have decided to make an offer. We are in the process of getting qualified for a mortgage right now. In fact, any moment my phone could ring & bingo, we have an answer. The thought of getting out of that god forsaken rental we have is overwhelming. I am so excited about owning a home again. We own one in Texas right now, Its a rental property right now, so we are getting some income off of it until we can sell it. Selling right now is not an option tho. Wish us luck.. We will need it. The house we are making an offer on needs a lot of work, but I like to think I can do that, and that its not much to handle, especially for a girl who loves to get her hands dirty. Yep, I like to think of myself as a "Mrs. Fix-it" kinda girl.

Hmmm

2005-08-15T17:06:00.000-04:00

Looks like I may have "offended" some people with my last post. Like I said.. No Apologies & I will not apologize to please the masses. If I lose battles at BOTB because of that post, so be it. I figure this would be a great time for a little lesson on this "Jerzey Girl"

I may be from New Jersey, That does not mean I agree the politics of this state (I am NOT a liberal, not a conservative either for that fact, but damn straight, I voted for W. My thoughts are almost straight down the middle, I support the death penalty, I support a womans right to choose to have an abortion if she wants, I support stem cell research, I support the war, I support our troops, I stood shocked on 9/11 like everyone else, I cried when the towers fell.) Living here almost all of my life, I have realized that NJ has some of the most fucked up laws & politicians I have ever had the pleasure of "not meeting" Being from Jersey has "trained" my attitude. I grew up with a "if you dont like what I have to say, dont fuckin' listen" attitude. Yes, I still have that attitude, and I doubt it will go anywhere anytime soon. I can be outspoken at times, I am not very eloquent with words, so I usually try to avoid any kind of debates, at times, I can not avoid it & well, being a "jersey girl" I can be quite opinionated.. If you are offended, please vote for the other person *if you are here from a BOTB match* if you arent here from there, feel free to click the red x at the upper right hand corner of the screen, thats what its there for. New motto.. No apologies.. Yes, I am a Bitch, and I worked very hard to be good at that. Thankyouverymuch.

An Email

2005-08-15T13:37:00.000-04:00

I thought I would share this email with you all. Its a political one, I usually try to stay away from politics, but I agree with ALOT of this email & would fully support any president (democrat or republican) who gave this speech, In fact, I would probably be standing in my living room giving one hell of an ovation when the speech was over with.

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT
OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been
completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our
mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York .

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America.

To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't
forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America.

Thank you and good night.
If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

Now, I know that I get visitors from all over the world here, Ive seen many different countries in my stats. Sorry if youre offended.. I am just one hell of a proud american. I offer no apologies for the above post tho. Like I said, I would proudly support a president who gave this speech.

Shamelessly Lifted

2005-08-13T16:37:00.000-04:00

I lifted this from another Jersey Girl, Go HERE to find your beer name

here's mine:

Jerzey's Flirtaceous Framboise: If at 'flirt' you don't succeed,... Try, try, again.

New Template

2005-08-13T15:32:00.000-04:00

It looks fine on both firefox & IE. In my resolution anyway.. if anyone is using different then 1024x768 and it looks messed up, please let me know & I will fiddle with the settings some more. Whatcha think? kinda pink huh?

Edit: 337 pm *eastern*

Checked out my other resolutions, I have some creative editing to do with the graphics. It looks pretty cool on 1280x1024, but stuff dont line up right.. should be just a change in the graphics, hopefully it wont mess up other things as well.

Whoopsie

2005-08-12T15:06:00.000-04:00

I realize I have slacked again in the blogging department. In all reality, I dont have a lot going on, or anything worth blogging about, in my opinion anyway. I have been pretty busy helping out my mom & trying to get my own thing done. I havent been to work in what seems like forever, and I am dying to get back there. Thankfully, I dont get paid unless I sell something, so its not like I am missing out on a paycheck. I did, however, get some things done around the house. E heard from VA & is finally starting to get his compensation. Of course, there is more to be added to the claim, but that could take up to 6 more months to get on there.

We are getting excited at the thought of buying our next house. I am kinda taken back by the prices of houses here in NJ, but I knew what they were, or else we never would have come back here from TX in the first place. In fact, that was a big part of coming back, my ability to make some money here with the housing market the way it is.

I keep thinking back to the reasons we wanted to come back, and I am starting to wonder if we did the right thing. I am a jersey girl, I have always been a jersey girl & I will always be one. We missed the food here tremendously, you cant get stromboli & cheese steaks anywhere else in the world that even COMPARE to the ones here. (except maybe Philly) I am from South Jersey, close to Atlantic City, So we have the Traffic from hell in the summer, but we already knew that coming back here, we would have to deal with it again. All of our family is here. Its funny, I had a friend once tell me, that usually in the Army, you make friends, but she told me, referring to me & my hubby, that instead of making friends, she made family. I miss her, but I will never tell her that (we parted on bad terms, both our faults) I am glad to be back up here.. Its good to know that our friends here havent changed in the 8yrs we had been gone. At times, its been rough.. at times, I would turn around and move back to the house we own in Tx in a heartbeat. But no.. I honestly dont think I would.. there are too many ghosts there. (not literally) *sigh* Ok, so I am having some issues today. Its a day filled with regret, for things left unsaid, its a day of sadness, because of what happened with some friends in the (recent)past, and its a day of anger, for those things that I cannot change, but I really wish I could. One day.. I will be able to say those things that I mean, instead of beating around the bush and pushing people out of my life. Today is not that day.

How'd ya get here?

2005-08-04T11:29:00.000-04:00

Just curious, how did you get here, to my blog *not on earth silly, i KNOW how you got here.. lol*

Just leave me a little comment ok?

edit: 12:20 pm eastern

Ok, lemme rephrase that up there. Let me know WHO you are, and HOW you got here, because altho, my stat counter shows the visitor path, It does not Show the WEBSITE of the visitor. lol. I would like to visit those who have visited me.

Coming Home

2005-08-04T08:42:00.000-04:00

I know I havent updated in a bit, but I have been swamped. My mom is doing well, and expected to be coming home from the hospital today. I am not sure what time though. They had her up and walking the same day she had her surgery, but at the same time she is on pain killers 3x a day & at that time had one of those awesome little morphine buttons *where you can get a small dose every 10-15 minutes*
I went to see her monday evening, She seemed to be ok, drugged, but ok. The next day, she didnt seem to be doing as well. More pained expression on her face, seemed less comfortable. Yesterday she seemed better, but said she felt really bad. No morphine anymore, so I am guessing thats why. She could talk without sounding horse, which was nice, I could actually hear her without having to strain. But she was in more pain, and I honestly hate seeing my family, my mother in pain like that. I Had a hard time going in there. I have never seen my mother incapaciated like that before. She had back surgery before, but I was not around at that time and could not make it back here. She honestly looked helpless & it really bothered me. My mother has always been a strong figure in my life, and to see her laying there like that really pushed a nerve or something, because i didnt like it one bit. *sigh* Anyway, she comes home today, and I am pretty much looking forward to it. I am relieved she made it though ok, I just hope she is "ready" to come home.

Please

2005-08-01T08:17:00.000-04:00

Please keep my mom in your thoughts today. She is having back surgery as I type this.

Lions, Tigers & Bears Oh MY!

2005-07-30T18:43:00.000-04:00

Any guesses on where we went today? Today we took our kids to the Cape May Zoo We left the house at about 930 am to beat the traffic, Let me tell you, the summer time traffic in the area is not to be joked about, Especially when you live by "the shore" like we happen to do. We got there a little after 10, which was a little longer then we expected, but, like I said, Shore Traffic + Saturday Morning = SLOW travel on the Garden State Parkway. I am telling you, we were watching license plates as we drove by, I would have to day about 40% were from PA, another 10% from NY & about 1/2 of the NJ tags had luggage on the top of their cars, so that means they are not from around here or they are leaving the area for a little while.

We finally parked, after wading through the traffic. We stumbled into the zoo, all 7 of us (me, hubby, mom, dad + 3 kids) The kids were excited. We saw the monkeys first, told my youngest he needed to go live with them, because his brothers and sisters missed him. HA! He just looked at me like I had 3 heads, which is normal for a 5 yr old.. at least one of MY 5yr olds. It had just rained, so most of the animals were sleeping, or being lazy. The lions were beat, only one was out & he was laying there catching some "clouds" The tigers were no where to be found, The cougar was playful, the otters were sleeping, the bobcat was sleeping, the leopards were all sleeping too. The birds were quite active, but very camera shy. Our best bet today was the black bears, zebras & giraffes. The kids loved all & we got a great pic of one of the bears as he was running up towards the fence.

Its a small zoo, so we left there about an hour & a half later. Headed to Mikky D's for some grub. On the way out of there, I was stopped by an eldery couple. They had been sitting across the dining room from us, but they felt the need to stop me. The woman said to me "I take it those are your kids?" "yes" I reply, thinking "oh crap what did they do now?" She then proceeded to compliment me on their behavior, stating that where she was sitting was just a little "loud", I looked towards where they were sitting, and there were only 2 little ones. It felt good to be told my kids are well behaved. I guess I did something right with them. God knows that they dont behave all the time, and most of the time I feel like they are just being little heathens. I figure thats what they are there for, to annoy the hell out of me until they are 18, then they can annoy the hell out of everyone else.. haha.. just kidding, I love my babies, they are the greatest little brats out there.. well, i say this because I can.. :D

Poor fishy

2005-07-29T18:05:00.000-04:00

We have a manmade pond outside in our yard. There are tons of goldfish & koy in it. There was one fish, a particularly HUGE fish, who we joked around saying was the "mob boss". Reason we said this, we had an incredible amount of rain one day, and there was a smaller, skinnier fish swimming by the edge. We figure he either committed suicide or he, well, was told to put on a pair of "Dirt Shoes" We found him next to the pond, slightly... dehydrated. Thats where the Big fat goldfish being called the mob boss started. We would joke around saying that he did it, he saw the smaller fishy looking over the edge & fat boy (mob boss's other name) went and pushed him out.

This fish is about 5 or 6 yrs old. Pretty old for a goldfish if you ask me. Yesterday or the night before, he started floating, belly up. We figured he was either dying or he was a SHE and was preggo and getting ready to lay some eggs. We found out the answer today. Poor mob boss took a hit. Now the other fish are swimming around "sizing" each other up.. Wonder who the next "Boss" will be?

So I am Chatty Today

2005-07-28T22:27:00.000-04:00

Chatty Chatty bo batty for me today. BUT.. I had to test the new template. Tis my Labor of LOOOVE. no, not really, but I like it. It suits my personality. :D What do ya think guys? Better? No? Yes? Maybe?? Do ya like it? Huh Huh?? DO Ya Do ya???

I Lost it

2005-07-28T15:11:00.000-04:00

I had this amazing post all planned out in my head, So... I sat down to type it all out "Oh Shit! What was I going to write about again?" Its GONE!! I completely lost what I was going to write about today. So instead of something philosophical (spelling?), You get mindless drivvel (please expect that often as I get Brain Farts often). So, for today's blogging, you get a definition of the word Brain Fart & a few examples of how often it happens to me.

I actually had to go look up the word, to figure out just how to define it. From Urbandictionary.com, I looked up Brain Fart. Below is the Definition

Brain Fart
Blurb in your head outta nowhere, train of thought goes weird
examp: Whoops sorry Brain Fart

See, this happens to me quite often. I will think of something to say, and start to say it, but it comes out FUBAR *which will be explained at a later date*. For example, I was talking to hubby the other day while I was trying to format the computer for Daughter, He asked if he should go mow the grass, My response to him was "Go ahead and format the grass baby, we have time before we have to leave" Now, read that statement and tell me where I went wrong. The sad thing is, he asked me 2 or 3 times before I caught on to what I was saying. Chalk it up to Blonde hair or whatever.. But I am the Brain Fart QUEEN of South Jersey!!

Have I really learned anything at all?

2005-07-27T16:29:00.000-04:00

I changed my template. One I had for a while, from an old blog. I edited the title because my blog is no longer named "random randomness". Which is good, because my life is no longer random.

I compted in Blog Explosion's Battle of the Blogs today. I lost.. ALL of the ones I entered. It was getting to a point where I thought they were just being mean. I know. New blog on the block, no wins, buncha losses. Eh.. its all good. Its all about the fun anyway & who knows, maybe someone thought my blog was something else by how it looked. Yeah, it was cutesey, WHICH I love, btw, but That was an OLD set, from an OLD webpage. I need something new, something fresh & not something run-o-the-mill. I wont pay to have someone do something I know I can do perfectly well myself.

So, I will try on a new template, Pull out my attitude & stop worrying who I will offend. This is my life & if people dont like what they see here, move along, there are a 100,000 other shitty blogs out there, just dying to have some attention.

50 things you always wanted to know about me

2005-07-27T12:34:00.000-04:00

1. I was born on the east coast & lived here most of my life
2. I grew up in a small town in NJ
3. I met my husband when I was in 7th grade.
4. I really didnt care for him that much back then.
5. We started dating in 1994
6. It was the summer between my sophomore & junior years of Highschool
7. We had our first child together in 1996.
8. I was a Sr. in H.S. then.
9. We got married in 1996 as well.
10. But not because of said daughter.
11. I was an Army wife for 8 years.
12. Hubby got out of the army on a medical discharge after Iraq.
13. We have spent more time apart in our marriage then together, due to said service in military.
14. I am a Real Estate Agent
15. I dont like to advertise that on the Internet, Unless you are buying a house in South Jersey.
16. I lived in Texas for 5 years
17. I lived in Germany for 3.
18. We moved back to NJ
19. We havnet quite figured out if it was the right thing to do yet.
20. Our youngest child is now 5 yrs old
21. He starts Kindergarten this September.
22. I figured this out. When my youngest is 20 years old, I will only be 41.
23. I love that I will be young enough to enjoy life without feeling like I am burdaned by having young children.
24. Not that I think having young children later in life is a bad thing
25. Its just not for me.
26. I used to run a Military Spouse Message board.
27. It was so filled with drama, I closed it down.
28. I dont miss the responsibility
29. I learned that A LOT *not all* military spouses are some of the cattiest women in the world. 30. I guess they dont realize that their husbands job is enough to cause stress, so they add to it by causing drama and stress in others lives as well.
31. I do not regret my husband serving for 8 years
32. If he could, he would still be in, serving for another 12 or more.
33. I am finally happy with who I am
34. I used to try to "invent" myself every couple months.
35. and mold myself into what I thought people wanted me to be
36. Truth is, I am happier being myself then being someone other people wanted me to be.
37. I have finally come to terms with some stuff that happened to me
38. it involves being hacked and treated like shit
39. its in the past now & things are looking up
40. I no longer have the energy to try to 'make amends' with people who look at me like I am a piece of garbage
41. Those people will never be welcome back into my life.
42. We still own a home in Texas.
43. I wanna pull it down brick by brick & move it here to put it back together again.
44. I hate renting
45. I had a blockbuster.com membership. It was hacked.
46. So were my: email accounts, my yahoo accounts and a message board that I still go to.
47. I am a graphic artist.
48. Well I used to be
49. I lost my inspiration when my husband went to Iraq.
50. Its starting to come back, SLOWLY

ok, well thats 50 things you never wanted to know about me. Maybe Ill do this again in a later post. I had fun with this one ;)

The Joys of Not Smoking

2005-07-25T22:32:00.000-04:00

Today was my first day "on the wagon" so to speak. I smoked my supposive last cigarette last night, almost exactly 24hrs ago. Well, it was what I hoped was my last one. I did good throughout most of the day today, I went through the stages..

1. first thing, OMG, my routine is f*cked up. What do I do now???
2. Mid morning, Urges, cravings, Pop a piece of gum. YUM
3. Hyper.. holy hell, who knew one could get hyper from not having any nicotine??
4. Hacking. I swear I dont think i have coughed so much in my life. My lungs were starting to expel all the icky stuff
5. Hungry. I came home once, because I forgot my cell phone, pretty important thing for me to have for my line of work, so I played with the kids for 5 minutes, grabbed my phone, entertained my mom, grabbed a box of crackers and headed back.. Bouncy & happy
6. Oh boy.. it starts.. I got tired.. I got cranky.. Rut Roh, watch out, the Bitch is back!! Can you believe it??

Now.. its 1045pm. I have smoked 3 cigarettes today, ok, since 8pm or so. But not before bitching out my mom, who lives with us, My husband, who is also quitting. I holed up in my bedroom for most of the evening, biting the head off of anyone who dared cross the threashhold..

What have I learned from all of this?? One or 2 or 3 smokes in one day does not make you a quitter at quitting.. Especially if you are going cold turkey!!

PS.. New template coming soon.. I like this, but its not really what I want.. Will be creating one for my mama too :)

On the flip side, For some reason, when I post a new entry, it messes up the post before, if its on the same day.. Need to figure out WTF is going on with that..

L-O-S-E-R

2005-07-25T21:23:00.000-04:00

Dats me! I started doing the battle of the blogs on Blog Explosion Guess what? I lost!! I am shocked!!! nah.. not really. It was my first battle. Not a biggie to me, I am just getting my feet wet. What can you say? Its a personal blog, not much content & hasnt been updated in a while.. LOL. Its all good.. Eventually, the words will begin to flow & they wont know what hit them.. lmao.. yeah right. Lets be honest, once a loser, always a loser.. hahaha.

Any suggestions for better blogging, COMMENT :D
Or just comment and let me know you were here :)

My Gawd!

2005-07-18T16:53:00.000-04:00

I lead such a boring life.. lol. I sat down to blog, but I have nothing to blog about. I guess I'll tell ya about my weekend. I honestly didn't do a whole lot. I have been bored. I sat my fat rear-end down at my computer and played on Real Arcade (the downloaded version) all weekend. No, I take that back. Not ALL weekend, just most of it. I got hooked on BackSpin Billards I love that game. I suck at pool IRL, but online, I kick ass.. lol.

Hubby went fishing out on a canoe with his buddy on saturday, so I stayed home, and played on the puter.. When he came home, we gathered up the kids & went to a friends house, had a few Pina Colada's, Watched the kids go swimmin, had a campfire, roasted some marshmallow's sat around the fire, joked around & all around had a good time

Didnt do much of anything yesterday... I cleaned a bit, and played more pool in the comp. I know.. sounds like a lot of fun huh? Gotta love Jersey in the Summertime!!!!

PS.. run your mouse over the words for added fun.. lol

YAY!!

2005-07-15T16:42:00.000-04:00

I am finally getting things the way I like them. I made my own template for the blog. I forgot how hard it is to code HTML.. lol. Its been a very long time. I used to have a website, that had computer graphics (hand drawn, well MOUSE drawn that is) and web sets & blogger templages on it. I had a lot of fun with it. I lost interest in all that stuff when my hubby went to Iraq for a year.. I closed shop & quit drawing.. I got involved with some message boards & that was that. I am trying to get back to how I used to be, making graphics. I seem to have forgotten just HOW to do it. What you see here is a old webpage set that I had on my site.. I had to convert it to blogger.. took me 3 days.. ugh!!

Anywho.. Things are going good for me right now, I am working on some good projects at work, My kiddo's are really looking forward to going back to school in september, They are starting to fight a lot more, but looking back, my brothers and I used to start fighting about the middle of july all the time. Its like we got sick of each other. lol. They are going through it now. Its funny, Life really is a full circle huh?

Ok. thats all for now, Ill update when I have a chance & something interesting to blog about.

So Bad...

2005-07-05T11:04:00.000-04:00

at posting in here. yikes!! I have had a hectic/busy weekend. The 4th was great though. Lets see.. the 2nd was hubby's 10yr reunion, that was fun. I usually don't like going to things like that, but I enjoyed myself & we won a couple things in a raffel. 1 was a facial.. I can not wait to get that one done. The other was a couple of picture frames & some stationery.

Sunday was a busy day. I cleaned the house from top to bottom, of course, with 3 kids running around, you can hardly tell now. I also got busy in my garden. I ripped out all the weeds in the front garden, all the dead plants came out too. I planted some new flowers, and put down some mulch, it looks 110% better.

Monday, we just hung out on the back porch, BBQ'd and then later that night, hubby and I went out and met up with an old friend from High School. Havent seen him in years, its nice to relive the past for a little while.

Now, I am at work, have a few things to do this afternoon and then I am outta here for the day.

So thats what I have been up to.

Tired...

2005-06-25T22:46:00.000-04:00

you name it.. its probably me. I went to work early this morning, around 830 I left the house. Stopped on the way to get the cheapie/fast carwash from the laserwash, and promply got my rear into work by 9am. I left early, I was bored... Didnt accomplish a darn thing there today anyway. So I went home.

My youngest son, K, had a physical today. He starts school this September & I cant believe my baby is getting so big. He is in the 75th Percentile for his weight & the 90th for his height, no wonder he gets mistaken for his older brothers "twin"

I also got my daughter, T's, room rearranged today. She got a new/old dresser from gramma. She hasnt had a decent one in a long time, so I am pretty glad she got one. Got her room done, then decided, I needed to get out of the house. I can not stand to sit here all the time, I like to be on the move...

Hubby called his mom and asked if she would baby sit.. of course she said yes. We went to the mall, yes, on a saturday when the place is filled with teeny boppers and mall rats. But we had a nice time, just the 2 of us. We stopped in the "build a bear workshop". That store is so cool!. I think we might bring the kids there next weekend, if it is decent out. The would really enjoy it. Who wouldn't though? Building your own stuffed animal? We window shopped, ate some dinner, and then we left. We try to get out 1x a week.. just the 2 of us.. It seems to help us out a lot.

Anyway, thats my day in a nutshell. nothing major, nothing tramatic, just my boring old life.

So, I am already bad at this

2005-06-23T20:45:00.000-04:00

at this blogging thing already. If you take a quick peek to the left, you will realize where it says I am a professional that doesn't mean professional blogger, haha. No, it means I am usually pretty busy during the day & do not have much time for fun on the computer. I will try my best.. But I cant guarantee daily postings like some other people seem to have time for.

Today was fun, It was pretty slow at work today, which was nice for a change. I had a meeting this morning.. It lasted for 4 hours. Can you believe that? I am a smoker (yes, I know its bad for me, so please don't criticize me for it.) After the meeting, I had to basically run to my car to light up. It was killing me to not have one & towards the end of the meeting, I could feel myself starting to well up with anger. (Yikes!! get that woman a cigarette!!)

I relaxed the rest of the day, which was nice. So because i was so relaxed by the end of the day, I felt like treating the kids to McDonalds. BOY was that a mess. I ordered chicken, a 6 piece chicken nuggets meal, what do ya know I only got 4. Thats ok. I figure I will call & let them know they messed up & that I will be back down for a "fixed order" when I am done eating what they messed up. The manager needs a few lessons in manners though. I could have choked her, but thankfully, I (think) I managed to keep my cool. I walked away with an entire new meal.

So I came home, ate my missing nuggets, ate some more stale fries & came in to check my email. I had a couple emails waiting, responded & now I am trying to type on my husbands computer, which is really making me quite mad right now.. he has the keyboard all weird.. and i keep hitting the wrong keys. They always say, Backspace is your best friend.

Jerzey Girl - My Life.. or something like it

Blast from the past

lifes strange

a real update

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Monday...

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So, I am already bad at this

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